Journal Ark in Palawan

WE DREAM OF PLACES TO LIVE AND DIE, AND THOSE PLACES I THINK YOU CALL IT “HOME”

I have lived away from home (the Philippines) for almost half my life now. In this time I realise like many of us do - that a home is inside us, the inner peace and quiet we find in the knowing of ourselves.  Rare do I feel at home these days in that sense, and that may be a life-long journey for me in finding.   But there are also physical places we like to call home, the places we dream to live and die - Palawan might be one of those.  A special place where Andy and I had our honeymoon years ago with friends, and now a place we bought a piece of land on,  to build our hut and spend some of our golden years (if we are lucky enough to reach it).

Palawan is also home to the Tarsier, the hump head wrasse and giant clams which is featured in ARK. 

I thought it was apt then to take beautiful photos of ARK in Palawan, a homage to our future home and the home of these majestic creatures I hope continues to thrive. for a life-time that stretches beyond ours.

Journal Ark

It’s been almost exactly a year since I launched my first collection of scarves – I always muse how repetitive life can be, how predictable our seasons are.

2024 was rough, if I had a dollar for every tear that fell that year I would be a modestly rich woman.  2025  was 'better, in between  work and the 80 flights I have taken so far , I feel incredibly lucky  that I have been able to pick up the pencil to draw.  Rough times reward me with stories, and stories reward with me drawings.
ARK took 4 months for me to complete.  It is one of the more complicated drawings I have made.    I am glad I did not rush it though. I felt like I intentionally stretched the time to make it and in truth felt a bit bummed out when it looked ‘right’, there was nothing to add or subtract (a rare moment for anyone who has picked up a pencil to draw).  It’s hard to describe how the story was built and ended but I can describe how it began. 

“THAT LONELY IMAGEOF THIS GRACEFUL CREATURE MADE MY HEART HURT A LITTLE. LIKE THIS LEOPARD, SO MUCH OF OUR LIVES AND THE PENALTIES WE PAY IN LIFE ARE NOT ONLY BECAUSE OF THE CHOICES WE MAKE…”

I was in Sri Lanka visiting a buddy of ours in 2018.  He was building a house there and yoga and surf was supposed to be nice.  During that trip, I went for a safari and saw a lonesome leopard (granted they are solitary creatures), the guides said I was lucky and that sightings were so infrequent because they were ‘almost extinct.’  That stuck to me.    That lonely image of this graceful creature made my heart hurt a little.  Like this leopard, so much of our lives and the penalties we pay in life are not only because of the choices we ourselves make but the cards dealt to us by fate, other humans and the ravages of time itself.  So I started with the thought of two leopards, she is not alone anymore, they survive together.  The two are play-biting and have a ribbon wrapped around them that says “Love Wins.”   Slowly I began to add a menagerie of animals that are ‘almost extinct’ but not quite yet, it seemed there are a few.   Other portions of the ARK was drawn as little mementos of the life experiences I lived–  some truths, some imagined.

In the ARK everyone and everything HAS A SAFE PLACE.  It is also a love poem to the flEETing beauty found in nature –  a simple reminder that while nothing in this world will last, with a little love and attention – the good and beautiful iS SALVAGEABLE.

“Open palm, willing to receive.  Any and whenever I am lucky enough for you to flit, flit on my fingers. Even for a moment. Electric, so pure, then in an instant gone and I am left staring at my own fingers”  -    A Love Poem, Anonymous

Journal Amor Fati & Corals

“Nothing lasts forever, someone told me so.  Life is always changing it ain’t what you think you know. Even if you’re standing still you’re floating in space, so grab a hold of your heart and you’ll find your place. In this crazy beautiful life.” - Nick Mulvey
I have never felt more at home and displaced at the same time as I was in 2022.   In March of that year, Andy and I decided to move  from Asia, our two bulldogs in tow, to the United States after living in various places.  I had lived in Thailand, Dubai and Singapore while Andy spent years in Australia & Palau ("B.P." =  Before Peewee).  In this displacement I found space and time to draw again.
I had always loved-drawing as a kid.  I was the type who took no pleasure in sharp pencils and crayons, and to my Mama’s horror would melt them or use them all up within 3 days of buying them.  She was never sure if I would amount to anything, I declared as a 4 year old I wanted to be a 'cashier' & recall pretending to know how to speak Japanese (only to end up working in Tokyo for a few years) while my sister said she wanted to be a doctor.   When we grew up, my brother embraced his creative gene full-time (my sister blessed as she is can’t draw for shit and did end up being a doctor) while I had one foot in the clouds, drawing when I had time and another on the ground with a corporate job I keep to this day.  
Amidst a mouthful of embarrassingly long titles, my most important job continues to be to create.  
It is simple, I am happiest when I "make."   
As with some artists’ work, mine were born from Muses, whose siren songs wailed in my heart too noisily I just had to let song to paper.   One piece of art is an ode to my husband and the marine life he has lovingly dedicated his life to protecting & another a  tribute to my friend Death, devilishly handsome who has gently whispered in my ear :   “Hey, you know you’re not going to live forever, right?”
 So I respond, "It feels right and time is short."   I draw and put my heart on my sleeve for you to feel what I feel, see what I see and hopefully it sings to your heart the way it does to mine when I look at it.

In art, I have learned that the tragedy lies not in an ugly outcome but in the not trying.